Wow, what a dream. Here comes all the memories again. This is not what I wanted, really. Can't believe one could actually wake up crying ._. This suckssssssss.
The scenes in the dream are still so vivid, argh. Forget forget forget.
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HELLO!
I'm lying on my bed right now, with the laptop on my fat chubby stomach.
Anyway, went to ECP to cycle with this bunch of awesome people! :> Cycled from ecp to changi and back. Omg it was so tiring but I feel so acomplished!! Almost fell down while avoiding kids on the road. I think i super act smart, trying to cycle while answering a call #failmarissa Got a small cut and one super huge blueblack D:
Ohyeah, everyone was late except for fiona, manwah, sokwan and me T.T Punctuality might be a bad thing here hahaha. Okay, so after that we met up with hongzxc, yuhan, roxanne and weiting for dinner!! :> Dinner was a ripoff though. sigh, no change from the previous time I went.
Saw CGPZ <3 I miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
AND WE DIDNT GO TO THE BREAKWATER T.T still so sad over this :(
Still haunted by the places we went tgt before. eeeeeee
Sometimes we see things that aren’t meant to be seen.
Sometimes things aren’t always as they seem.
Sometimes we need someone to call our own,
Especially when we’re alone.
Sometimes people just can’t understand,
Why things get out of hand.
Sometimes life just isn’t fair,
Especially when people just don’t care.
And sometimes it's hard to say,
Why things have to be this way.
Sometimes it’s all you can do to get by,
Especially when dreams continue to die.
Sometimes it’s nice to sit in the rain.
Even to just relieve the pain.
And when we’ve had a really bad day,
Sometimes we just need to get away.
We never know what’s wrong with our pain.
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
And sometimes when people get hurt,
Even the strongest ones may need comfort.
By: Kristin
We just got to move with the flow. Wake up and the battle starts again. Fight hard everything and you know there won't be regrets at the end of the journey :)
I'm glad I survived through that day and yup, I'm now happiegal93!! :>
Elearning week really sucks, the workload is almost x2 ._. The tutors might have thought we are all superman/woman. This is mad crazy.
Just hope everything goes well.
Yup, it hurts freaking bad. It hurts even more cause its not the first time already.
Why aren't you here? I'm here, I'm still here waiting.
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Just survived monday! :> went for meeting at 10am and did project from 12 to 8plus :< it was pure torture! Can you imagine the excel file was slowly sucking my brain juice away. Hahaha.
Meeting was good :> I seems to enjoy these meeting with them heh. So excited for batam!! :>
Its yet another long day tomorrow. FMGT make up tutorial, projects and lastly, meeting for opjuvi. Hope it will be good!
Elearning week and I'm going to school everyday, what a life :<
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I'm sorry for all those whines but I'm just so broken.
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I woke up with sadness overwhelming me. Its like everything is not going right. And I hate it, I hate it to the core.
Friends, studies, cca and other stuff are making my life outright miserable.
What do you do when you tried your best and yet your friends doesn't even appreciate it? Maybe I'm stubborn but time is running out. We can't afford to waste time now. All I want is for everyone to be happy. Is that a request that is ridiculous?
I feel so helpless in studies, something that I never encounter before. All the stress, I can't manage. I want good results this sem but I can feel it slipping away through my hands already. This is not acceptable at all. Many have high expectations of me and I don't want to fail them. And this is causing me tremendous stress.
Yesterday, I actually closed my twitter for a while, which is pretty unusual for me. Every night, it hurts, so much that I can't take it. I might sound so loser-ish but I can't help it.
you. Its always you, isn't it. My words and actions don't tally and it sucks.
I hate myself for feeling like this. I want to be happy but life isn't gonna make my life easy.
and it seems like those thoughts are back, again.
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I feel so guilty. I should stop all of this.
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
Heyy!
I just wanna talk bout the outing with my BFFs :> even though ncw and winnie didn't make it D: School and almost everything else is always in the way. It was great catching up and shopping with charlotte and chicky :> It amazes me that our friendships are still going strong after so many years. Really, how many of you still keep such close contact with your primary mates? I believed its just a handful of you. To think I have known charlotte for 11 years already. I'm really glad to meet this bunch of people <3
Next day was Vesak day! I thought I can spend it with my mum, like finally cause we are just so busy with work and studies. But no :< They left me alone here in S'pore. Aiya got used to it alr, its not the first time anyway. They can even go overseas while I have my exams, what's new? Anyway! Spent it with shuting, just chilling and doing the stupid IFA, which reminds me that she told me we got a lot of wrongs :< #emo Went to eat korean food and I think I almost vomited ._. Forever too greddy seriously HAHAHA.
Today was pure torture ._. 9am to 6pm. Halfway through, I felt the world turning round and round. I think I almost blackout ._. Slept for 1 hr in IFA cause I really can't take it anymore. CLSP make up lecture was good though :) Am glad that I survived school today :>
Was browsing through
http://www.fuckyeahtattoo.tumblr.com/ in EAA. I'm thinking of getting a tattoo when I turn 18! What should I tattoo? Guess I will get one at my wrist. But I'm kind of scared of the pain :/ We'll see. Can't help but think back, we were supposed to get a temporary tattoo together last time HAHAHA. #dumb I know, but it was so sweet last time. ohwell, its over :)
I feel happy when the people around me are happy :>
It was a good day spent with shuting.
but this have to come and ruin it. ARGH was freaking angry at myself. WHY AM I SO DUMB? WHY, TELL ME WHY.
SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT AND KEEP IT TO MYSELF. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU, MARISLIM.
I'm just sitting down, having some alone time. So much to think about. So many things that I want to accomplish.
I'm just thinking bout what I'm gonna change about my life. Easy to say, hard to do, as usual. Its always "today I'm gonna do this! Let's go!" Yet I won't complete it/gave up half way. So much for determination huh, marislim.
Everyday I try. I really did try. And I won't stop until I achieve what I want. I will succeed, one day :>
What a random post, again. Sometimes I feel like locking my blog cause all I post about are senseless stuff in my mind.
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Some friends don’t understand this. They don’t understand how desperate I am to have someone say, I love you and I support you just the way you are because you’re wonderful just the way you are. They don’t understand that I can’t remember anyone ever saying that to me. I am so demanding and difficult for my friends because I want to crumble and fall apart before them so that they will love me even though I am no fun, lying in bed, crying all the time, not moving. Depression is all about If you loved me you would.
Tumblr.
too paranoid and it ain't a good thing. Not at all.
My mind's frustration weighs
Heavier than failure.
Alas, my heart and I
Know not how to endure.
Life is unfair and we all know that.
Sometimes I ask myself, why am I trying so hard when others just don't appreciate it. Been trying too hard and I don't get the results I want. Been disappointed too many times.
Ohwell, School have been real sucky, as usual. My brain cells, I hope you guys are surviving well D: School work is really demoralising. Sigh don't wanna talk about it alr ._.
OHYEAH. I have finally finally finally did something (Y) Finally! :> Happy iz me :> Shall not say whats that, you can ask me in real life though! haha! But then again, don't think anyone reads my blog nowadays.
I'm just blogging to avoid doing schoolwork ._.
SCHOOL SUCKS.
Those crazy things we did. At least we created some memories that are truly ours. I'm glad to create those memories with you, no regrets. From today onwards, I shall place them in my heart. Cause I'm moving on. Yes, there might still be feelings but I have made a decision to move on for good. Finally.
Heyy
Kind of a bad night, I guess. Too many things on my mind.
ARGH why does this always have to happen to me?!?!?!
I just hope that you all can think of the future, that's all I'm asking for.
Heyy
Right now, I'm at ourspace waiting for shuting and leon. Really hope that shuting can perform well for her interview! Should be doing my ifa tutorial but its just so boring. Can't believe I will be doing this for the rest of my life ._.
Anyway, I had my interview yesterday and I hope its good enough. Shall not think about it alr, gonna hope for the best.
Had this OIP briefing during lecture today. I really hope all 3 of them would go. It would be the best bday present alr, really.
Ohman, I'm just talking random crap here. Boredddddddddd out of my mind ._.
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Time: 1:55am
Here comes May, again. I could still remember how happy I was last May. To say I was the happiest girl in the world would still be an understatement. Things changed, right now, I'm just a struggling student trying to make sense of whats happening around me.
XLB buffet was quite okay, I think I wasted my money ._. Didn't really eat much and I vomited out what I ate anyway. Ohwell, its money well spent for time with them. I finally ate coldrock again! :> The last time I went there was with cgpz and nadiah. Haven't seen them in ages D:
Was just lying on my bed this afternoon and I realised I haven't been meeting my friends for a v v v long time. I feel guilty, I should have make more effort in contacting them and stuff. Don't worry, people. I didn't forget bout you guys, just that I'm just busy with school stuff D:
Life's hard and its harder without you here.
