Marissa Lim, 17.

Happiness

Links.

{Abigail}
{Amanda}
{Benda}
{Beverly}
{Bobby}
{Calista}
{Candies}
{Charlotte}
{ChiaYu}
{Cheuk Kwan}
{Chin Wen}
{Cindy}
{Claudia}
{Denise}
{Dexter}
{Doreen}
{Eileen}
{Emily}
{Fiona}
{Gek Heong}
{Geraldine}
{Gino}
{Guan Ying}
{HockSiong}
{Jaslyn}
{Jerlina}
{Jian Hao}
{Junda}
{Jun Ying}
{Karen}
{Ken}
{Lakshmi}
{Marianne}
{Melissa}
{Miao Ying}
{Mun Teng}
{Nadiah}
{Nicholas}
{Pamela}
{Patricia}
{Ruzana}
{Samantha}
{Sera}
{Seraphina}
{Serene}
{Sock Hiang}
{Starnia}
{Stefanie}
{XueFeng}
{Yi Zhen}
{WeiYuan}
{Winnie}
{Yi Ling}


Designed by: Ahting

History.

October 2006
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HELLO

today I woke up at 8am, like woah. So early :/ Went to meet with my 4e3'09 peeps (Y) The concert was soso, we missed the fun part. But the wushu part was srsly funny ttm, they're like dancing lol. So we took pictures with teachers and talked to some of them. Well, i guess they all missed us cause the current batch's results are srsly cui. Physics msg is now 6. something. Last year, same time, our msg was 2.4 ^^ We rule hoho. Cause got me, I am the zai-est. Heard results are pretty bad for the current graduating batch, all the subjects. Oh well, too bad.

Went to eat botak jones (Y) (Y) (Y) my black pepper chicken, I missed you! This dish is incredible, it has the taste of black pepper crab, really I never bluff you guys. But the sides are now limited :/ Braddell mac for monopoly deal and study. Wouldnt say its not productive but wouldnt say its productive either ._. Left at 4 and I went home to sleep till 7 gahh. The new show on channel 5 is quite nice though.

Leloveimage.blogspot.com

Kind of true cause the one who loved you wouldn't even think of breaking your heart, even once.


I've done a lot of thinking lately. The thinking that only occurs when you're pressed between bedsheets and the clock is staring back at you in bright red 3am's and your mind is playing a constant loop of memories you'd rather forget.

Let's face it: My love life is pretty much a giant shit show. I've had my heart ripped out of my chest one too many times at the young age of 19. It's a mix of youthful idealism and hope and a desperate desire to believe in someone against all odds. It's the lure of breathing in a familiar smell while tucked in the arms of someone you've silently loved for years, even though better judgment says he'll hurt you again.

I know that life is not a romantic comedy, but I guess I've still kind of fallen into the idea that maybe sometimes things are meant to be. I've learned a few things though. I constantly see couples breaking up, talking shit and then getting back together - an ebb and flow that they come to accept as normal. I guess on a grand scale I'm guilty of this, but recent events have taught me a very important lesson: the person who is really great for you, the person who brings out the best in you, your partner in crime? That person is not going to second guess your relationship until it's lost all meaning. That person is not going to rip your heart out of your chest even one time, and he certainly won't do it twice. And that person shouldn't make you an option, because in love you deserve to be a priority.

I might still fall silent when I stumble across old pictures. I might stay up until early morning hours to avoid thinking myself to death while trying to fall asleep. And, yeah, I might still ache to hear a confession of remorse.

But I'm not going to waste my time on someone who isn't great for me. Settling for familiarity is bullshit. As hard as it is, I'm going to move on. One day, I'll find someone capable of keeping my heart safe when I hand over the key and say, "Hey, don't fuck this up."

Always,
Jessie


‘I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you, just as you do not expect it from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you’re in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, hoping that you feel the same way for me.

tsk this all means that all the *i love you*s are all fake. All lies.


hey

today i slept till 4pm, win already. Unproductive once again, tmr I got to study infa already. 2 s for infa, I wonder if its enough. I certainly hope so. Tmr I'm going back to beatty (Y) I hope it would be fun but its gonna be a short visit. Need to study T.T Exams faster over, my bday plans are awesome. Soooo, I ate subway for dinner. Wanted the new crab one but they out of stock ): I want to eat botak jones tmr, its gonna be so awesome. If only susan they all are here, it would more awesome. We used to go there like maybe twice a week? Keep laughing like mad, I want to go back to sec school days ):

today, my hands itchy again and i went to see my messages. I read quite a number of them. I know I shouldnt have done it. Although i changed the name, the message still puts the nickname i gave you. Gahh, should I delete away all of them? I can't bear to though. But I need to move on. But I really don't understand why we can't stay friends? Guess you're just too immature :/


Hey guys and girls

Yesterday night was quite heartwarming. Thanks to those who cared, I really appreciate it a lot. I can't guarantee anything but I promise I will try my hardest.

So now I'm at coffee bean with xf. She brought her laptop and this is temptation! I should really start studying like I should. There hasn't been any serious studying, grr. I should start I should start, now.

God, help me.

Hey guys and girls~

Today was rotting day, as usual. My weekends are normally spent watching tv and sleeping, even when exams are few days away. Sigh, where is my motivation? Okay, so today I finally saw a reply and I guess its really over. I got my closure and I'm working hard towards getting over it. An ex is called an ex because it is an example of what should not be in your life. I hope I make it, although I admit its hard. I will survive, I guess. I survived even when my favourite boy left me. Yeah, this was a wrong move that I have made and I am gonna make sure I won't do it ever again. I will try to happy.

I ate cereal prawn for dinner but I think I'm getting sick of it :/ I think I am sick of food tonight lol, cause I went to look at food blogs just now and I felt like vomitting when I saw the pictures lol. Only the ice cream managed to tempt me though. I had magnum gold today (Y) But I'm getting sick of it too. Tskkkk.

I AM STILL BOTHERED BY THE GIVING BIRTH VIDEO. What if I have phobia of giving birth? lololol. I hope not.

I need to study. I stopped blaw and I'm not getting started on the others. Sigh.

Oh yeah, I don't know if you still comes to this blog, I hope not. Cause you're freaking me out. I know I am always mentioned in your blog, I went there once. I know you hate me, a lot. But its already over. So I guess you should stop scolding me and stalking me. Its scary, you know? Having a stranger stalking your facebook, gosh, lucky I locked it up already. I hope you find your next happiness, we should go let go of this burden.

hey

Fnally can type a proper post today. Keyboard wasnt working just now and I had to use the on screen keyboard. So troublesome ._. haha so continue, we slept at 5am ? and woke up around 12pm. They went to ea and we played monopoly deal. tskkk. They went off around 4+ and I rotted the day away. How great, what will happen to my grades? ): I think I should stop blaw till maec is over. I should, right?

There's this video about giving birth on facebook. I am srsly disgusted by it, although its a noble act. The scenes are just so appetite killing :/

Today, I am not sucidal, its a great step. I hope I make it.


I really wonder why some guys do that. If you were just gonna end this all then why did you let the girl fall head over heels for you in the first place? Ironic is this. You do all you can to get the girl who doesn’t seem to budge, who says she’ll never fall for you. Then maybe the girl starts to feel something and she gives it a try. During that period, it feels like floating on air. Everything that the guy does, makes her heart flutter. Everything that he says, she believes. Every promise he makes, she holds on to. And somehow, along the way she starts to fall in love with him too. She lets you hold her hands and share a kiss or two. And out of the blue, something starts to go wrong. The guy says that things aren’t working and that they shouldn’t be together. And he leaves the girl who feels as if a part of her has been ripped out, a part that belong to him. Bottom line is, wtf man! You started all this crap. You made her fall in love with you. How can you expect feelings to be over just because you want to end it. Was it all just a game to you? To get the girl and once you get tired of her, you just end it? At least she tries, because even after the heartbreak, she still wants you and believes you’re something worth fighting for. But you? Do you even care? What happened to guy before, the one who would go all out just for her? If you walked away from her, i guess that means none of it was real, you were just playing her.


My worst nightmare: That one day, any girl will take my spot. That one day a girl will sit with you, laugh with you, smile with you, & have a good time with you. That one day a girl will realized that you’re amazing. That one day that girl becomes your girlfriend. That one day she takes my spot for good. That one day you will forget about me because you’re busy thinking about her. Yeah, that scares me the most. Because, I want to be that girl. I want to be only girl. I don’t want anyone to take my spot. Why? Because, if anyone takes my spot; there won’t be anyone else who can take yours … which is probably going to be the worst reminder that I lost my spot to her.


hey

I saw something that makes me sad right now. But the problem is, I don't even know if that post is for me? But guess not, cause you're the one who left. I'm still here missing you, hoping that one day, you will come back to me. I changed, I changed for you. Only you, love, only you. However, you don't even see it. ): Today, I thought of you. Actually, I think of you every single day. But you never know, right?

Today was quite a nice day. Badminton in the morning till noon. Alunmi for lunch and we played cards at ourspace. Met my girls at sembawang, I was the latest :/ We ate hk cafe and made lots of noises, as usual. Great times spent with them. After that, do serene and xf and me went to cityhall to watch the fireworks. It was pretty nice. Bought a slice of cake for xf hehe. Then we all took bus home. Do and xf gonna stayover at my house to study. What an impromptu decision :/


HELLO

today bday celebration damn fail. BDAY BOY NEVER COME. win already. Had steamboat buffet, I like (Y) but the ice water like exp only, $1 zzz. I think they gave us tap water lo, wts. Walked around and I went tpy library and study with xf. So fail. But I saw yizhen and junying ^^ Studied till 8+ and we went off. She bought her bday cake lol and we went to play monopoly deal tsk.

Tmr's badminton!


hey guys

today was unproductive studying at school. We keep searching for hacks online. &the most embarrassing thing is that we screamed at mac while watching the video joel posted on fb. Fail ttm. Throw face as usual. Went off around 5+ and I went to meet parents. Dinner, I ate salad. Don't really have any appetite.

I'm turning into someone scary. Someone who thinks of stupid things to do. I just want to die. I'm losing it, soon.


"She’s not like that now. She knows better. She knows now that people lie and promises can be broken as quick as they are made. She understands that she might never be loved and too quickly, good things fly in front of your eyes before you can reach out and grab them. She knows that you can’t change or help time, so every now and then, it’ll just run out. There isn’t a place for everyone in the world, so if you’re standing alone for a while, that’s why. Not everything in life comes easy, but when you work the hardest, that’s when it’s your best. You can’t always expect people to care and even when your best friends stab you in the front, don’t think for a minute they didn’t already aim for your back. They missed for a reason. She has found out too soon, that in the end, you are your own best friend. Everyone will be broken at some point in their life, and more often then not. It’s gonna hurt like hell, but you can’t stop it. You can’t change your own fate. Some things are meant to be and all the pain you go through will end up resulting in something huge. You don’t know what it is and when it happens, it’ll hit you like a ton of bricks. At some point, when you have experienced everything you can, the words “life” and “risk” won’t mean anything to you anymore. But don’t try and change that. stuff like that is meant to happen. Over time, certain things no longer have an affect on you, and that happens cause that’s the way its suppose to be. But you’ll learn all that later in life when little things like a sunrise or a spring rain start to matter. But it might catch you off guard and happen sooner. I mean, ask her. She knows."


HELLO

today I overslept ._. slept till 940 when we meeting at 10. Went to NYP todayy! I like their food and their shops. So niceeee, they even sell sticky there! Cool ttm, why NP don't have? ): Today wasn't productive. I slept while waiting for xf to come back from her briefing lol. Not a good day to study. Came back home around 6.

What module should I study now? Should I study sg economy? its the worst chapter ever. EVER.


hello

okay, last post was srsly out of the mind D: today, I never study a single thing, fml. Srsly, why do exams exist? Out to kill me.

Hope tmr will be a better day.


Hi.
Today, you told me you liked this girl.
A little disappointed but aiya, I'm not even sure if I still like you.
I still love him though.


HELLO!

today i woke up at 11am! Bathed, watched tv and find for food! my parents very jianjian, buy so many potatoe chips never tell me, lucky i still found them (: Went to 313 to meet with ncw and charlotte! We ate handburger, not so bad but i think not going back there again lol. The chicken was pretty good though. Studied at coffee bean and I finished 2 chapters again! Is this productive? I doubt so but its considered super productive for me! Everyday I max 2 chapters only D: last time i one day max one chapter though, during o levels time hehehe. Got improve! Left around 930 and I took bus home~

Dad cooked black pepper crab hoho and he baked cheese for me! YAY


woah, i still get those butterflies in my stomach whenever you called me that. Wa, can time go back to oct'08 or until jan'09? my best memories.

woah, I think I'm becoming a hua chi :/


HELLO!

Study study at coffee bean with ncw! wee joined us later, studied till 4+ and we went to meet chicky :D they bought their bags and we walked around. We have already decided what to eat tmr! hoho, zai right. Went off to meet sec school peeps! They made me hold on the floating balloons and walk around town and on bus ): but it was pretty fun though hehe. Wa the surprise like abit fail. Zhen and me tried running but they saw me lol. Had dinner at tampopo, shared the black pig sukiyaki with eyebrow. We ate black pig hahaha. Ate bday cake and we went to river! Wa like so romantic please, I hold the balloons , ONLY THING MISSING IS A MALE PARTNER, YOU KNOW?! HAHAHA Took photos and we went home~

Waaa nic say I sick in the mind D: the thing really looked like something wrong what, where got nose like that one HAHAHA.

OH YA, TODAY I SAW AUSSIE AND NEW ZEALAND YOG ATHLETES AT 313 !!! AUSSIE GUYS ARE HOT TTM, THE GIRLS ALSO HOT TTM. we keep stalking and staring at them. Omg heart melt already!!! regret not volunteering for yog! ARGH. I LOVE AMs!!!


HELLO

Today I sneaked into beatty with xuefeng and doreen! :D Was kind of nervous but we pulled it off! Didn't manage to have my fav nasi lemak with potato wedges ): Ate and we went to buy bubbletea and saw quite a number of juniors hehe. They were all kind of shocked. We saw santhi (Y) she's my fav teacher hoho. Seems like she's quite stressed up with the current sec 4s, oh come on, poa's not that hard! buck up and score as well as 4e3'09 hehehe. Which is impossible cause we too zai! We went to play monopoly deal at the playground, time wasted though, should have spend it on studies lol. Talking about studies, today I didn't study anything at all. Guilty ttm. Played till 5 and xf went for work and doreen went for medical checkup. I went home and watched yog :B Finally one silver for s'pore, so close to a gold but oh well, good enough for us ^^

tmr's going to study with ncw again hehe, meet up with my besties and cat's bday celebration :D


HELLO!

Today i went to woodlands to study with dexter and xw~ Had breeks cafe for lunch and my firecracker chicken chop was supersuper spicy. At first I thought quite okay then I put a lot ): They seems to enjoy it though, sadistic ^^ Off to library but no seats so we went starbucks~ Money fly away hoho, this few days spent so much D: on food somemore D: D: Not very productive, as usual! We kept playing monopoly deal hoho. Ncw and charlotte joined us soon after and we left at 7. Had ichiban sushi with the girls and went home~

I should've started running a long long time ago~


HELLO!

Today i went J8 to study with ncw and had dinner at MFM with ncw, charlotte and ck ! Not very productive today but better than sleeping away my studying time :D Heehee yayness. After that, we went to town with a mission. Quite fail and successful HAHAHA. "To be continued", as quoted from ncw. Hoho, tmr going woodlands library to study. So far so far ):

I ate a lot just now but I'm quite hungry. This is no good, exams sucking away my stomach LOL.

I think I'm getting insonmia ): Can't sleep at night, think too much again. These few days, I have been thinking about two persons. One who you guys know who is it already, another one is my favourite boy. Ahh we drifted away already but he is still my favourite boy until another one comes and makes me as happy as he made me. Heehee, good times good times.


how could you be so heartless?
:'(


._. whatever I typed just now was not published!

Awesome time watching hk drama at joel's with clique. Full stop, cant be bothered to type again. My tooth hurts :/


http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


HEYYY!

I woke up at 8am and called dexter until 8.30am ._. Finally cannot stand it and called his maid to wake him up. tskkk. We played badminton! Tell you I very zai! I won a 1 v 2 match :D Tell me, am I zai or what?! Hehe ate at makan place! &went home~ My house area was flooding, had to walk in dirty water D: Slept and watched tv. Just no mood to study, am I gonna be dead for exams? D: Hope so, where's my motivation?!

every single day of yog break was supposed to be spent with you. Oh well.


HI!

woke up at 7.45am T.T when I slept at 2+! Went for medical checkup, waste of money, srsly. I could have done all those myself but oh well. Took 157 to JP and met up with dexter, jingning and joel. Off to dexter's house. Almost got banged down by a car :/ *BU YAO QU SONG SI* HAHAHA ate awesome curry and we played cards, xbox and sing songs. Went home around 5? Keke, tmr going to school to hand in forms and badminton (:

off to tumblr, my place to rant!



This song's for you.


HEYY!

Shopping with mum at town was awesome! Bought lots of stuff hohoho. Dinner was especially (Y) Ate alot. We had some vegan ice cream, mulberry flavour. It was very awesome, we even bought it home! You guys should try it, its at orchard central. Went off to meet xf and carolyn at MS. Some friends come and go and we met up with N and Ali! Had so much fun at mac talking :D Left for home around 11 ^^

TMR'S GOING TO DEXTER'S HOUSE WITH CLIQUE~


HELLO!

Went to bugis again! ._. Had soup spoon for lunch and we shopped around. Mac to slack and we played boring rounds of MD. Some left and we went iluma to continue playing ! Went J8 to wait for them to finish tuition and we all went susan's house! YAY so fun there :D


HELLO :B

Went out to bugis today! Dexter was late for one hour ._. still can go home bathe again! tsktsk had ajisen for lunch and we went shopping! Watch aftershock, like totally woah. So nice and touching. He cried lolol. The guy beside me was super anti-climax. At the touching scene then i think a lot people crying, he suddenly turned to his girlf and asked *later what you want to eat for dinner?* ._. srsly? Shopped somemore, and we met up with xw for dinner! Had mos burger, my ulcers hurt :x Went home around 9+. Dexter's my shopping khaki already (Y)

Tmr I'm gonna go bugis again ._. But excited to see my girls~


HELLO!

SIM for lunch and we went for INFA tutorial! Skipped workshop, she's so nice (: Had red hair and we went for national day celebration! I like the mass singing (Y) plus the national anthem and pledge! I'm having serious deja vu while chatting on msn. Okay, back to blogging. After that, we went to play monopoly deal at ourspace. I won none ): Went for op juvi. I want the shirt though. Ended at 8 and we went home (Y) thanks gekheong for the cab ride!

IT'S THE HOLIDAYS!

When a girl is hurting, she's going to hurt for quite a while. She'll rethink the situation over and over again thinking what she could have possibly done to avoid it from happening. She wishes there was a possibility that she could just erase what just happened because right now, she's left scarred with the thoughts.

This is what I do every single day and night.

I'M GONNA HAVE RED HAIR FOR TMR :D


Day 8 - Your fav internet friend

I dont have one :O used to have one though. That, you don't have to know who is it.

Day 9 - Someone you wish you could meet

Dear Tanya Chua,

I want to see you! I really like your music hohoho. I heard next year got your concert :D:D:D:D


HELLO!

Shopping for bag at JP today (Y) had ljs and yami yoghurt. We watched inception, which is supersuper awesome! I actually understood the movie hoho. So proud of myself. Met up with xf and we went to have dinner. She bought presents for that idiotic person. We went to play monopoly deal which she is so cui at. I won like more than 10 rounds :D Went home without playing badminton cause thought got school at 9am! BUT while I was walking home, a sms came in, school starts at 11am :x Oh well. I'm back home watching hk drama now!


HELLO!

Badminton in the morning (Y) Tiring but fun. Went to al-alzhar to have lunch. Had chicken briyani and shared a banana split with dexter. BMGT tutorial was blah, whole class got A for bmgt report (Y) So happy that our hard work didnt go to waste. BMGT lecture was even more blah. I found my bday present (Y) *major hint* kekeke. I likeee! Pasar malam with do, jo and xf! Bought a lot of food, even durians! We are so cheapo, we bought 4 50cents durians lol. Almost ate until want vomit :/ Went home around 10! Going out with them on sunday! yay!

Tmr JP shopping (Y) hope its fun !

I guess some conflicts are sometimes good to strengthen relationships, especially friendships (:


Bad mood alert right now.
I don't know whats wrong. I heard a song then bah! Mood went down. Maybe its pms. Just don't feel like talking to people right now. Cause now, I don't have the mood or energy to act all happy around them. Maybe people around me are so happy that it hurts. It hurts to know that just slightly more than two weeks ago, I was as happy as them, maybe even more. It hurts to see you gone, just gone from my life. I would be satisfied if we could go back as good friends, but its not gonna happen anymore. Everyday I look out for you, at the void deck, at the bus stop and at school. You were never there. Everyday I think of you. I know you don't even think of me anymore. I tried, really, to stop all of it and move on. It's so hard. Everything I believed in, your words, your actions and your promises, were all lies. Looking at them everyday just rubs salt into my wound. Too hurtful, too painful to look.


Day 6- A stranger

Hey stranger,

Hi. Nice to meet you, probably not. Please be kind. Thank you (:

Marissa

Day 7- Your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend/love/crush

Dear first crush,

HAHAHA this is dedicated to you. I bet you all dont know who is it! Its when I was very small though, pri 5? Its just a crush. But now you're just a jerk, I guess. Tsktsk stop breaking girls' hearts! They are fragile.

Marissa.

Today we skipped maec tutorial! only 6 turned up and they got released like 10mins later? hoho Ate at alunmi and slacked at ourspace. DSS test was alright, lost quite a few marks. Still hoping for an A!

BADMINTON TMR :D