HELLO!
PBL 2 presentation was a success! Was actually quite fail but he said well done :B Much better than PBL 1 (: Happy. So went ourspace and waited for the rest! Domino's pizza for lunch! I think I'm a glutton ): I ate so much but i'm still not full. Late for infa for half hour. Hehe short day at school!
Went to meet my bffs. Inception no more tickets D: So we lepak until 11+ and went home!
nearly cried when i walked past my void deck. I always hoped that you will be there whenever i go school or go home. But you're not there anymore..
Day 4- Letter to your siblings or closest relative
Dear Gavriel,
why you became so fat nowadays? ): You used to be so skinny! I liked your skinny body! LOL now you always hit me and insult me. Gahhh kids nowadays! HAHAHA
Marissa
Day 5- Your Dreams
Dear Dreams,
Yesterday I had a nightmare. Woke up in fright. Don't want it to happen again. Then quite a few times, I dreamt of him. Which makes me sad. I hope not to dream of him again but I want to see him. It's the only place where I can see and feel him. Which makes me happy. Ah I'm so contradicting.
Marissa
Today I went out with dexter joel and sh! Nothing much, ate awesome ramen with sh for lunch. Visited meiee at the flea. Bought a ring and some watches for clique~ Can't find the backpack I want though :/ Off to gavriel's house for dinner, korean steamboat (Y) Celebrated uncle and auntie's friend bdays. I reached home at nearly 12. (Y)
Day 3- Your parents
Dear mum and dad,
I must be the greatest investment you have ever invested in. I'm just so awesome!
Love,
Marissa
Day 2- Your crush
Dear crush,
hello :B You are so cuteeee! Actually, you're not a crush but eyecandy! Okay, you're just cute but still, cute. LOL
Marissa
Tumblr 30 Day Letter Challenge
Day 1- Your Best Friend
Dear BFFs,
You know who you guys are. I know I'm playing cheat but you guys are the best bunch of friends I can ever have. We have known each other for so many years. Gone through so many things in the past. From sneaking into taf club, going to J8 for fast food everyday, hk trip and HTHTs. I know I have been hiding stuff from you guys last time but these few months, I didnt. I know you guys will always be there for you and I appreciate every single one of you a lot. You guys understand me the best. You guys are the best I can ever ask for.
Love,
Marissa
" And here it goes. I know you've moved on, moved on for good, but there are things you don't know, things that I don't show; things that I hide inside. I know to you it seems like I didn't care, seems like I was never there, but there was never once a day that you didn't cross my mind a million times. And believe me, if I could go back, I would, but things are different now. Time caught up with us and broke us apart, because now you found someone else. But that's not what bothers me. What bothers me is that you left me and that I left you, with words unspoken and a story unread. Words that are still trying to escape my heart and reach out to you, words that don't notice that time has past; words that still have meaning. What bothers me is that you didn't see the tears I cried and you didn't know that I lied when I told you I was happy. What bothers me is that you still cross my mind a million times a day and even when I'm sleeping, I can still hear your voice telling me how much you love me or how much you miss me and that's the only time I'm ever happy. It's when I'm reminiscing about you and dreaming about us. But when reality hits me, it just kills me. But the thing that bothers me the most is that all of this could have been prevented if I had just said something or done something, and the only thing that doesn't bother me is that I've learned a valuable lesson; you don't really know what you got until it's gone. "
Poeticheartache.tumblr.com
Yeah! BMGT presentation today! Everyone came with formal wear when we don't need to! Quite cool but kind of uncomfortable! Tutor say our class performed well, so I guess its good ! (:
Blaw on thurs and PBL 2 on friday! After that, its relaxing time (:
PRESENTATION WEEK!
WE CAN DO IT!
HELLOOOO~!
Now at jolyn's house! blackie currently making a fool out of herself, damn epic. I'm currently full but there's a box of egg tarts infront of me! To eat or not to eat, that is the question! Keke guess later then! Parents went msia just now, later then come back ;o So today should be here till quite late.
Today cannot stay home, will think a lot. Just now almost want to suicide, like crazy sia. Wts was I thinking ._. But sometimes death is easier than living.
HELLO!
wo xian zai zai library with my bmgt group members~ G DOUBLE O J O B, GOODJOB! Yeahhh didnt go badminton today again :/ WE GONNA GO NEXT WEEK! Auntie is just so retarded. Now she's stalking me! Ahhhhhh
I'm gonna move on. You're not worth my effort at all. Glad that you told me to stop. I'm gonna stop. YAY. Bet my friends are happy reading this. It will be hard but I will survive this (Y)
HELLO!
Sooo, DSS was alright. He's seems satisfied with our pbl. Hope for the best then! then we did infa during his lesson. SP for lunch~ So many people zzz. NP should sell milkshakes!! So we were almost late for infa test. Test was quite alright, didnt study :x Did tutorial and stuff, chionged for bmgt report! So we submitted on time and I went to help another group for filming for their blaw project. So throw face T.T so many people were staring at me. Did till 8? then went tpy for dinner (Y) Very awesome indeed.
HEY!
We finally finished our bmgt report (Y) Edited till 630pm and went to meet mum for dinner. Hog's breath, keke. She told me I didnt eat with her for a longlong time. Sigh, all blame the busy life I have. Hope I'm will be free after next week, where all my presentations end! But then its gonna be lonely at home. tsk all those plans we made. Nothing at all now.
Sooo, I still got infa to do T.T Don't feel like doing but cannot! Tmr will be my turn to present and there's test tmr! wts
hi.
Currently lying on the sofa, just woken up by an impromptu nap o.o I'm trying to study blaw, which is tmr! Ahhh, its so hard. School was alright, LMS presentation. Not so bad, after so many presentations, I'm quite fine with presenting. Mac for lunch and walked back to do project. Filmed the advertisement, like abit cui :x went home. Embarrassed myself at the busstop, plus it hurts ._.
Haha I'm trying my best but it just seems so hard. Everywhere reminds of you, and the things we do. Been listening to happy songs, something I don't do in the past. Just to keep myself from falling apart once again. I'm gonna change for you. Don't stop me cause you're worth it. Hopefully one day you'll take me back. _.
HELLO!
Today's been an emotional day. Couldnt control myself and cried so badly in ourspace. I'm so sorry for the scene created, I believe there's no next time anymore! So did project and went for lunch! Dexter and me bought subway ^^ Ate at cc and lots of joke. He scolded me but I know its all for my own good. So, bmgt tutorial! Waaa have to add in a lot of stuff, and we are out of pages already. Sian, have to edit like crazyyy. All late for bmgt lecture! Lecture starts at 3 and we were still in class at 3. Nothing much though. Went home and saw like 3 missed calls and 3 smses ;o So rushed down to find them. Glad they are always there for me. Like they put down everything just to see if I'm okay. So we talked over dinner and ice cream. Keke talked till 9+ and we went home.
I really appreciate all those stuff you guys have told me and done for me. I'm gonna stay strong! I will try my best to not let any more tears roll down, no guarantee though but I WILL TRY MY BEST (:
I LOVE YOU ALL MY FRIENDS~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NGCHINWEN!
You are and will be my BFF! I love you. Plus we have a gang kekeke. I'm glad to have you right here for me. So touched that you want to give me your bday wish. Appreciated it alot alot!
had a splendid day at school. Laughed so much, everyone so ra and orange today heh. They managed to make me happy (: Although some may not know, but I still appreciate it. Sooo, maec was crap again. She said early release but then we release so late! SIM for lunch, laughed alot again. Cause of HC! LOL we are all cast inside HC2!
After INFA, dexter joel jn yy and me stayed back for pbl! I can proudly say we have finally finished our PBL 2! YAY CALL FOR CELEBRATION SRSLY! No more dss after the 25% quiz! Our group rules (Y) okay, plus joel and dexter's group too! So happy to have them alright. We took videos and photos (Y) SO long never take photos already lo. Must continue our DJJM! then took bus with yy home!
Once I splited ways with her, I couldnt control my emotions. Tears just rolled, worse when I reached home. I just couldnt stop. I got to stay strong, even after all the devastating stuff I came across and heard. I guess this is karma, I never should have took you from her. haha now go back to her. Hope we can be like before, good friends?
The end is here
Sooner than I thought
Thought you were different
But I was wrong
All the things that I have planned
All come to nothing
Nothing at all
Just like what I am to you.
I AM GONNE CHIONG MY WORK TODAY
CANNOT AFFORD TO PROCRASTINATE ANYMORE T.T
CHIONG AHHHHHH!
I went back to my tumblr last night. Hmm
HELLO! :D:D:D
Today I went out from 745am to almost 1am! Keke, morning we went school for op juvi. V v v v v v tiring T.T Its just endless piles of clothes for us to sort out and fold. Did manual labour till 3pm and we went library to meet up with andy to do project! Quite okay, split work again. So much work to do, once again. Poly life is hectic and busy ): Went off at 5+
I went MS to meet up with my BFFs! Actually quite loser, suppose to stop at jalan toapayoh but I slept till the next stop. So took 151 back again and take 56. Changed into my dress and met them! Was quite disappointed, today supposed to be dress day! but only me and cw wear lor! Had a splendid dinner with them, although its exp but everything's fun ^^ Eat until cannot eat already then we went starbucks to talk. Played truth or dare, epic much. Ck and winnie went off while we 3, once again, went to some place to lepak~ Wanted to go CB or SB but we went mac. Talked about stuff. Guess I would just stick with cw's suggestion for the time being.
YAY, so we talked till 12+ cause mac's closing. Cabbed home with them (Y)
seeyou next time on 9th sep :D:D:D:D:D DRESS DAY~
hello
School today was abit sian. Went school at 8.30am to do PBL. Didnt do anything. Jasper taught us stuff though. Lunch at alunmi, saw jd. keke, so long never see him~ INFA, played monopoly deal and did tutorials and stuff. Boring~ After that, we went ourspace to do PBL. Can say its not bad, almost finished :D Went home around 7? Missed your hand in mine T.T today last ep~
just wait and see.
HELLO
school was alright, no dss today (: cause it was elearning. Hoho ate island creamery with the rest, shared two scoops with dexter keke. Blaw tutorial and lecture. We went sim to eat. After that, went to find juvi people and we went for briefing! Had a great time laughing with dexter. Two of us together is a joke. Did a lot of unglam stuff. Kekeke. Briefing next and I'm really excited to join TCP. Hope my cca can improve or else srsly cui T.T Would srsly jeopardize my chances for everything. Oh yeah, today I ate 3 types of ice cream :D Island creamery, then walls ice cream, me and dexter shared two! keke. then after briefing, the school gave us ice cream :D kekeke, ate so much.
I'm barely holding on. &its getting harder and harder by the day.
Hi. Hi. Hi.
Late for LMS. Lesson was nonsense, was busy talking online and doing project. He should stop teaching cause its plain useless. Did not get back tests once again, so its next week then. It would be our presentation next week and I hope we can do well. So much time spent on the project, hope it pays off. Had lunch with them at alunmi and went off for op juvi. Quite okay, we watched paranormal activity 2 trailer , and its quite scary :/ I was affected by the first one for manymany days. Exciting though. Finished my infa, quite hard though. Hope I got the answers right. Went off to meet doreen and her boyf. Off to cineleisure and we watched despicable me in 3D. I think the movie was soso only, not much. Agnes was very cute though, lose me abit only!
Doreen and her boyf went off, we went to eat swensens ice cream buffet. Not going back there again, just went there to try. Kind of disappointed although the selection of ice cream was huge. Walked around and we saw a super super hot ang moh guy. Like srsly hot. Aww, went home (:
I know you would read this so I would just type it here. We are busy nowadays, sometimes too busy. No time to spend with each other. Even sms, sometimes you would take like 1 or 2 hours to reply. Idk, I know you are busy but at least tell me. I wouldnt have to wait for so long, just for your reply. I'm a thinker, I tends to think alot, sometimes very bad scenarios. I cannot help it. Its feels like you don't love me like you did in the past. It feels like we are drifting around from each other. Sooner or later.
Every night I stay up past 12, past 1, etc. Not because I'm not tired. Not because I want to tweak on these social networking sites. Because I am tired, I want to sleep. But I can't because my mind runs like crazy. It over thinks, over analyzes things that I don't want to think about. So I purposely keep myself awake & tire myself out so that when I do finally lie in bed, I fall asleep and my thoughts don't keep me up.
I'm not angry, just very disappointed, with a lot of things happening around me. Friends do not snatch friends. Friends do not say this type of words. Friends do not show that kind of face. Friends would not be so rude. Friends would not stop others from talking to friends. I thought in clique, everyone would be equally bonded but I guess not. Right now, I miss my clique in 4e3'09 a lot a lot. No conflict, no nothing, just full of laughters everyday.
Everything is falling down, one by one. Maybe I will be the next one.
I need to forget this incident and get on with life.
Hi.
Currently in MAEC class, listening to her crap again. Slept for 1hour only D: The effect of that one hour is taking effect now. Very sleepy but have to force myself to stay awake. Bored. I am very hungry and need food. Ytd was a super fattening day, maybe I should cut down today. But I bet its gonna fail, once again D: I need food. I'm now talking to myself. Actually, a lot of inner thoughts in my head. Too much, I'm always thinking too much. One small action, I can totally link to something very big D: Don't know if its good or bad. Thinking too much makes me unsatisfied, which is defintely bad. I need to change my thinking. Or else I would just keep demanding more and more from the ones around me.
Enough for the day. Back to MAEC, now we looking at money notes :O Next time, the person on the note would be me! True Story :D
HELLO!
Today is project day at bishan library! Went to have brunch with mum at dome first. Was late by half hour, so sorry~ So we finished our ppt today (: Still needa get summary sheet done, by myself. Xf came to find me and we did excel. Damn fail but its just so hard ): Had pastamnia! Saw gavriel they all, he hit me D: I keep getting abused nowadays, sigh b, how could you? ): HAHAHAHA went down to amk to meet b for desserts~ He went off to cck while xf and me went home. We super loser again ): we walked one super big round around amk when the busstop is opp! WTS
HELLO
Woke up at 730am for project T.T Was supersupersuper reluctant to school but still did. Did PBL until 1+ and we went mac for lunch! YAY played monopoly deal with dexter and joel while the other two are doing their bmgt. Keke played until 3+ and went to meet b. Long time no see. At first, was quite grumpy cause srsly sleep deprived D: But then its alright already~
He punched me on the bus D: D: D: sad ttm, how could he? ):
I miss you every single day. Bet someone happy already~
Hi.Hi.Hi.
I am very tired right now D: Just got home from dinner with charlotte and ncw! DSS was crap, again. Idk why some people such as joel, enjoys it. 2 hours break and we went alunmi to have lunch (: Monopoly deal next! I FINALLY WON MY FIRST MATCH, like srsly. I'm super unlucky I think :X INFA was very boring D: We played snakes and ladders, so boring. Went for dpa talk and dexter and me totally threw our face hahaha. Went to wait for charlotte at ourspace and played monopoly deal again! keke. Its damn nice to play!
Charlotte came and we went CS to wait for ncw ^^ Ate at some italian restaurant and we ordered alot. Super full :D After that, we went coffee bean to hang out~ the caramel was super good~ Better than starbucks o.o Went home around 11+ and reached around 12 T.T
PBL meeting later on~ I'm tired. The whole weekend is for projects, I wished for yog break D:
Its as seem we are not trying. I know I cannot be too demanding. I'm partly at fault too. Its as though we have lack of communication.
HELLO
today was alright~ DSS was srsly, idk, i dont like dss ): worst module for this sem. AFter that, went to eat at zesty tomato and photocopied the blaw article. Attended one hour of blaw lecture and went for op juvi! KEKE after that wanted to go for dpa talk but too late. Going tmr and on monday (: Took bus with sh, too tired so I slept~
was so looking forward to seeing you today. Don't you feel that our plans to see each other always fail these few days? its like we planned already, maybe just to see each other for a few mins. Both times it failed. Idk, just saying.
HELLO
Tuesday, only the second day of the week D: Had BMGT all the way today! Had article presentaiton and he said well done (Y)(Y) so happy, lucky my efforts are not wasted! Tutorial presentation was damn cui, ours was the worse lo. Sighh, work harder~ Had lunch at KAP mac (Y) played monopoly deal woohoo. Played it during lecture too kekeke. Ourspace with dexter to teach sh poa~ then we and dexter's friends went to makan place to eat. Went home~
I have a lot of problems in my life that I don’t like talking about. I’m a complicated person and no one realizes that. People look at me and judge me but that’s okay, because they don’t know me. I honestly feel alone in the world, like no one understands me, but I hope that one day maybe, just maybe someone will. The world is a crude and horrible place that we live in and I’m starting to realize that now. I’m starting to realize who’s going to be there for me and who’s not. Meeting new people is making a difference in my life, for the better, hopefully. I see more and more people hurting me each day. From the things they say, to the actions they take, they’re breaking me down slowly, piece, by, painful, piece.
hey
Happy youth day to every youth in the world~ Sadly, I'm not a youth anymore, and no, whether you are a youth or not is not determined by your age, its determined by which kind of schools you go to. MAEC all the way, got humiliated by baboon today, Sad, but I will emerge stronger. Bought sandwich from atrium, their service srsly sucks. I did ordered and paid. They made me sound like some cheater who want to cheat them of their sandwiches ._. INFA lecture next, kind of boring, lucky its only 1 hour. Went to canteen 3 and have desserts, nicee only. Ourspace to rehearse presentation and played monopoly deal. Fun indeed ^^ Went to meet b at thomson and we ate pizzahut. I should stop eating with him, he's broke and spending money like water~ only like to make me feel guilty ): went home~
is it weird if I can just feel sad for no reason? There is no reason for my sadness now, but I continue feeling so.
hey
last post was a little too over emotional. Early morning, no sleep= all kinds of thinking. I think too much just now, I over-analyse stuff most times. Don't know if its good or bad.
Today i woke up at 12 to watch hk drama hahaha. Fell asleep, damn fail ._. Rot until now, should start on my tutorials now.
I bet cow is sleeping again, no reply yet again.
Decided to post again after looking at joel's blog. Inspiring hmm. Inspired me to post something offensive (to some people) and a wake up call for myself or even others.
I guess everyone's first impression of me would be I am crazy, high, don't study, slacker ttm. I admit I am that kind of person. The reaction that wenzhen showed after she knows about my results will always remain vividly in my head. The shocked look on her face. She told me that she thought I am those who cannot study well, in other words, I looked stupid. From primary school, no one thought I would score well in my studies. From primary 1 to 3, my results were like shyt. I didn't care, no one cared. Not even my parents, they don't show any concern regarding my results. Only until primary 5, only one teacher believed I could do it. I remember it was Mrs Ng. She came up to me and asked me if she can help me as she sees the potential in me. First person ever to tell me I can do it. I scored beyond my expectations for PSLE, I did, really. However, my parents were never satisfied. *Why didn't you get 4 As?* Even till now, my mum will still reminds me that I have never fulfiled her expectations of getting at least 4As for a single exam in primary school before. I tried, really. Although I didn't study for PSLE, I tried my best already. That was my best, what could I do?
I went to BSS. What to do? Same kind of shitty results I got. Teachers would be biased towards those students with good results. They only focused on those who are smart. What about students like me? They didn't care. I bet I was one of those who Mdm Toh predicted would get into the third or last class. I was angry, but what can I do? I could only prove it to her. I can go to pure science but I decide to go for combined science. I want to show her that even though we are from the last two classes, we can still score better. It was only until Sec 3/4 that I realised I can do it, on my own. My results improved tremendously. I even beat the top PSLE student in my class. Teachers were impressed, I felt acomplished. But even then, my parents weren't even satisfied. They complained about my careless mistakes, why I didn't get full marks, why did I scored badly for english. They don't understand, they never will. After we got back results for our sec 3 EOY, I can feel the competition. Everyone treated me as they top competitor, they had all kinds of methods to try to beat me. Actually I don't see the reason of competition, so what if you beat me? I don't compete with others, I compete against myself. My goal is to beat myself. That's why I despise those who keep asking me if I have studied whatsoever. I also dislike those who keep saying that I don't need to listen in class, cause I am so smart blahblahblah. Their choice of words were all coated with sarcasm. I chose to ignore them but the competition's too huge. Who knows I broke down many times while studying for exams. The stress, not given by myself to me to score better, but from my surroundings. It does not help that my teachers placed huge expectations for me. Mrs Haridass even set a target for me for O level's. She wanted me to be in the Top 3 in the school. Mdm lee, my math tutor, also set 2 A1s for math for me. I had to reach those expectations as to not disappoint them. That was freaking huge pressure. For many months, I have images in my head, images that says I would fail my O's, images that I don't even dare to attempt the questions. They don't understand. They only wanted what they want. They didn't care how much was I suffering. Came the O's results, I scored well, I reached my expectations. After my teachers knew of my DPA, they keep persuading me to go to jc. They wanted me to withdraw my application. They don't understand me. Then came the biggest blow, my parents asked me why didn't I get all As. Why did I get a B3 for english. I reallyreally tried my f best for O's, yet they are not satisfied.
Poly, NPP was great. I already can feel the mugger tension in the class. Tactics that people used to get better grades for their assignments. Seen a few, no names mentioned. Got back results, once again was happy for my results. School starts officially. Very frequently, I mean really, people would talk about my gpa. Say what I can no need to study also can score well. *WA, marissa! you don't need to study already luh, gpa so high. Don't give us pressure leh* Their words are coated with sarcasm, once again. So what if I scored well for npp? Does that mean that I don't need to study to get good grades now? So what now my gpa is at this number, I don't see it remaining like this for the next 3 years. People keep saying I don't need to study. Who are you to say? I need to study. You guys don't have to keep bugging me about how much have I studied whatsoever. May be directed to someone. Its placing tremendous pressure on me. Everyone vying for ADs, its getting very competitive. Just for INFA, I didn't reached my expectations. I was upset with myself. Yet, people don't understand. They don't understand why I am upset. Now, not only I have to reach my expectations but also my parents and also my friends'. My parents expects near full marks score from me. I don't like to hear people saying I am smart cause I am not. You can see my results in primary school and sec 1/2 , its horrid. I was being looked down by my own math teacher, what do you think?
I know I am very slack, I have been trying my very best to change that. But I reckons it would need a lot a lot of time. I want to maintain my grades, I never want to disappoint myself and others who have high expectations for me. It is something that I will never want to do.
I guess this is somewhat a ranting post. All these feelings, I have been bottling them up since long ago. I hope everyone just competes against themselves, and not others. I am still grateful for awesome great friends around me. We shall all work hard towards our goals, especially you.
HELLO!
woke up at 8am when I slept at 2 T.T Prepared and went to hougang interchange to meet jingning. Bought coffee (Y) Bused down to gekheong's house. We missed the stop hahaha, loser again. Started on our project at 1030+. Done with everything! Filming was veryvery epic HAHAHA. Had fun though (Y) Auntie left and we went back to the house to edit the video. Video was very nice, I like alot! Did until 5 plus and went home~ got gastric pain leh, must be never eat much for the whole day :X Dinner was super filling, I had magnum gold hohoho.
gonna start on my reports now!
hey!
DSS in the morning! Database srsly, he keep picking on it. Did some useless stuff. 2hours break, went to SIM for lunch! Bought *I love NP* shirt, like finally! YAY. INFA afetrwards, satisfied with my results but I can do better. Next time just study everything ._. I lost a few marks for that. Met Cal on the bus and we went to watch eclipse! LJS before that, service was good! Ecplise was super good! THE NEW VAMPIRE, RILEY, HE SUPER HANDSOME LIKE OMG. So much better than edward!! Jacob was super hot too HAHA, hua chi yi ke!! Prata house next. Damn awkward ._. All cause of MY, she asked us for supper then there got her class gathering. Win already, we like outcasts T.T
HELLO
TODAY VERY UNLUCKY AND EPIC! DSS in the morning! Got back test and pbl 1 results. YAY we managed to scrap an A for pbl 1 woohoo. Thought we would get like C or something :X My haiavans broke leh, I super sad *sad face* Borrowed jiewei's supersupersuper gigantic slipper to wear while I went cheers to buy one cheapo one. Went for blaw and the whole class went wrong classroom hahaha, fail. Got back results, I am satisfied. Lunch at makan place adn went for lecture. Today no have gopalan, abit sad LOL, cause no entertainment. Did dss and gekheong sent me to macritichie hohoho.
Ate bbq chicken for dinner (Y) Done with maec project, going off soon to do INFA T.T
